Darkest Hour

Can you feel the Darkness slowly creeping in?
The touch of void that freezes my heart.
Begin at the end, end where it begins.
Darkness is where you will find solitude,
Darkness is where you will find hope,
It is not the Darkness outside that you should fear,
But the Darkness within your heart.

Luck will only get you started,
Faith can only take you so far.
The strength of arms matters not,
For the mind determines the outcome.
Beware, young one.
The game has begun.

Felix Yeung (or more commonly known as Anton Donovan) is a third year student studying Bachelor of Creative Industries, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing at Queensland University of Technology (QUT). He believes that alcohol helps a writer broaden his/her mind so they can produce better writings, which probably explains why he is seen consuming Fruit Tingle at the university guild bar all the time during his free time.


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To Write Or Not To Write

So I was re-watching the Season 4’s two-part finale for House M.D. (for those of you who don’t know, House is a medical drama series featuring an unconventional, somewhat sadistic medical genius named House who leads a team of diagnosticians at a fictional hospital in New Jersey) because I was procrastinating as usual. I am the kind of person who gets too attached to characters in books and films, so naturally, I was pretty cut up when I found out that Amber dies in the last episode.

To tell the truth, I’ve hated Amber as a character for a very long time because she seemed like an evil, bitchy character who likes to get in others way to achieve her goals. She became Wilson (House’s best friend) girlfriend sometime after House kicked her out of his team, and like House, I constantly questioned her motives and believed that Amber was only dating Wilson to get back at him. It wasn’t until the finale that I realised that she genuinely loved Wilson, even to the extent that she was willing to go pick House up from a pub after he got drunk because Wilson was busy at work (which ultimately results in her death following an accident) despite their shaky relationship.

I felt bad for hating her. Amber, this cunning, unpredictable character that I ended up admiring. I was quite teary when Wilson said his last farewell to her, I could feel the pain in my heart as he turned off the machine that was keeping her alive.

The two-part finale (House’s Head and Wilson’s Heart) has probably one of the most heartfelt story-lines out of all the books, films and TV shows that I’ve read and watched. I can only think of two other examples of brilliantly written stories off the top of my head: Angels Take Manhattan from Doctor Who and the introduction sequence to Disney‘s Up.

I had a moment of clarity as I was recovering from my ‘feels’, it seems easier to bring sorrow than joy when it comes to writing. Genuine happiness is rare whereas sadness comes in buckets. I asked myself, ‘why do I even want to be a writer if all I do is break hearts?’

It appears to me that most ‘good’ writers write stories that just appeals to the audience’s negative emotions, and I want to be a good writer, so does that mean I am going to end up writing sad stories? Probably, because they sell.

A friend of mine did raise a good point, ‘they (writers) don’t always break hearts to be great.’ I guess it’s true to a certain extent, seeing as I do enjoy quite a few shows with humorous, positive elements, but none of them brings out as much emotions as sad books, films and TV shows. I certainly don’t remember the last time I cried tears of joy after watching/reading something.

Felix Yeung (or more commonly known as Anton Donovan) is a third year student studying Bachelor of Creative Industries, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing at Queensland University of Technology (QUT). He’s the writer that WordPress deserves, but not the one it actually needs right now. So we’ll spam him, because he can take it. Because he’s not a potato. He’s a cliché-loving writer, a professional procrastinator. A Dork Knight.

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All About Myself (Monologue)

7 years ago, I had the honour of performing on stage as part of an Renaissance College Hong Kong (RCHK) drama production named Too Much Light Makes The Baby Go Blind (TMLMTBGB) directed by Leslie Stellwagen. Ms. Stellwagen was one of three people that I’ve met who inspired and empowered me in my darkest hour. For that I could never thank her enough for what she had done.

All About Myself” A Monologue written by Felix

“I’ve traveled to many places, done many things, but never without an item that keeps me happy.

But, I can’t remember what it is! Perhaps you can help me out with this, it’s grey and can be carried around easily.

School bag? Do I look like some random retard who cries when my school bag is not with me?

Paper? I hate paper! Having a piece of paper in front of me means I have to write an essay! I HATE ESSAYS!

Oh, this is hopeless, I can’t do anything anymore! I don’t have my… precious with me.

I will travel around the world, again, in search for my precious. Then, I will tell you everything about myself.”

Felix Yeung (now more commonly known as Anton Donovan) is a third year student studying Bachelor of Creative Industries, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing at Queensland University of Technology (QUT). He is an ex-RCHK student affiliated with Tang House and known for his reserved personality and ability to pick out people with untapped potentials and recruit them under his wing.

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The Dark Path

I am walking on the dark path going nowhere,
Waist-deep in thoughts that I cannot understand.
How did I fall so far?
How did I fall so hard?

How many times must a man fail before he succeeds?
My hands are on fire, but my heart is cold.
The idealist’s fervour is long gone,
Replaced by a lingering weariness that never goes away.

Empty eyes gazing upon the starless night.
Silently wishing for an Angel,
Wordlessly screaming for help.
Hopelessly grasping on to the hand of the companion that never existed.

I am walking on the dark path going nowhere.
I once held the light in my hand,
But now nothing remains of the once noble soul.

If you chance upon me, don’t fret, don’t sweat.
For I am just a lonely soul.

Just The Lone Wanderer and the days that never came.

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Borrowed Time

My time is running out.

When I am gone, as I am pretty sure I will be, I want to be remembered. I am not a great man. I didn’t raise empires or lead revolutions, but I like to think that I’ve made a difference with the time that I’ve had. I want to be able to leave knowing that I was loved by people that I care about, to know that I’ve been a positive influence in their life. I wish I could do more, but I can’t.

I’ve fought, ran and bargained with fate, but everyday it catches up with me a little more. There are so many things that I want to do, so many things that I could do if it wasn’t for the shackles that fate had bound on me. I could do so much more. So much more.

It is easy to blame things that I have no control over, I was simply born with attributes that are considered undesirable, or even abnormal from where I ‘belong’. Sooner or later, I will have to embrace the fact that there is little I could do, that nothing short of a miracle will save me from my coming demise.

Until then, I can only hope, and hold on to that flickering light inside my heart.

Remember the man who stood by the window and watched over his friends with a sad little smile on his face. Remember me then.

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The Bench Boy

Messy brown hair, icy blue eyes, Jeffrey Jenkins was a 24-year old guy with a slim physique; the kind of guy that most people believe wouldn’t hold his own in a fight. He played few sports and preferred to do relaxing things, such as reading a book or enjoying a nap under the soothing sun. Jeffrey was the strong and silent type, who kept things to himself. Those who earned it would gain his unquestionable loyalty, as he always helped his friends in their time of need. At least, that’s how he was before her.

It started just like many love stories, a meeting by chance at a local park, followed by a casual conversation, then the exchange of phone numbers. Quick greetings as they walked past each other turned into hours of conversation at a cosy café or muffled giggles in movie theatres. Before either of them knew it, their hearts were intertwined. Jeffrey was so thoroughly in love with her that he wanted her to be his girlfriend, and the only logical move was for him to ask her the nerve-wracking question…

It was a gloomy day, exactly three months after their first encounter. Fidgeting nervously, dressed up in his Sunday best, armed with an antiquated book, he began the march up the cobblestone path leading to their favourite bookstore. He was so tense that he failed to notice the cheerful and familiar ring of the ageing brass doorbell as the wooden door slowly shut behind him. There was a musty smell of old paper and yellowing parchment filling his lungs as he walked through the store. He mindlessly ran his fingers over the cracked covers of leather books, stirring swirls of dust into the air around him, and watching them dance hypnotically under the dim table lamp.

A sudden gush of cold air blew the dust angrily away causing him a violent shudder. His ears perked as the floorboards squeaked following gentle footsteps. He slowly turned around and saw her leaning against the bookcase, her adorable smile making his heart melt. Mustering all the courage he could, he blurted out the question.

She said yes without the slightest bit of hesitation, radiant joy had emanated from her face – much to Jeffrey’s relief. As an emotionally distant person, resultant of a turbulent childhood and a life full of family violence, first love changes everything. It was like the first ray of sunlight after weeks of raging storms. Jeffrey had never experienced anything more beautiful than this. It was something he could only describe as glorious.
Such a beautiful memory.

Alas, life had its own cruel, twisted sense of humor, taking everything away after giving a person all he’d ever dreamed of, shattering his hopes into a million pieces.

Jeffrey’s girlfriend was sent away to study overseas six months after they started dating. Both of them had shrugged, believing that they could deal with the distance. Unfortunately for him, the lack of physical contact was apparently too much for her after a while. Every message they exchanged pained them both. It reminded them of the time they used to spend practically clinging to each other as they hunted for rare books. Eventually, she cracked, asking Jeffrey for a ‘serious’ conversation over the phone. The phone call erased everything he had done since they’d met. It almost sent him into the cold embrace of death once before.

Of all the friends he had, which, to be honest, wasn’t that many at all. Sean was the only one who understood his pain. Sean realised how close he was to taking his life. He found Jeffrey drunk, bottle in hand, sitting on the balcony rail, legs dangling over the edge. It took many exhausting hours of negotiation and promises to convince him to not jump. Sean had since then taken upon himself to be Jeffrey’s personal ‘therapist’. He would check on him frequently, making sure that he didn’t do anything a sane person wouldn’t.

Even with Sean’s help, recovering from the break up had been excruciating for Jeffrey. Everything seemed dull and meaningless. Jeffrey knew things had to be bad because he’d even lost interest in reading books. Every day, without realising it, he would find himself walking to the bench where he first met her, a habit Sean frowned upon. People even began to call him the ‘bench boy’. Jeffrey, however, couldn’t care less about it, it helped him to focus and feel more human. It was only natural that Sean often managed to creep up on him.

‘Here again?’

‘Yeah. Again.’
’How long has it been now? Two months?’

‘Probably, I don’t know.’
Jeffrey nodded absentmindedly as Sean began to spiel on about the meaning of life. He’d been doing it so very often that Jeffrey could pretty much repeat everything he’d say with precision. He began to zone out without realising it.

It’s been two months since their final conversation, but he could still hear her last words like she had just spoken them minutes ago. ‘You are a nice guy… and I really hate to do this to you, but this isn’t… gonna work.’ The very thought of that brought stinging tears to his eyes and sent a jolt of pain through his chest. If he could just speak to her one more time, he would…

His thoughts were interrupted as Sean steps on his toes mid speech.


‘… sit here.  Sorry. But like I was saying, you can’t sit here every day for two full months. You’ve gotta move on man.’

Still grimacing, Jeffrey reach down to rub his toes, only to find himself an inch away from Sean’s face.

‘You listening to me? Spaced out? Yes? No? Maybe?’

‘I’m listening,’

‘Really, what did I say?’

‘Erm, sitting here every afternoon staring at the lake is the most stupid thing anyone could do, least of al me. And I should hang out with the rest of the guys sometime, or find another girl. Did I miss anything?’

‘Exactly that.’ He taps Jeffrey on the shoulder. ‘So you gonna do what I say?’

Jeffrey shrugs, leaning down to pick up a pebble and examining it closely, noting the smooth, reflective surface. He rubs his thumb against the pebble, suddenly reminded of the times when he would run his fingers along her arms in a similar fashion. A sharp pain in his chest brought him back to reality and he finds himself staring into Sean’s face yet again.

With a sigh, he shakes his head and send the pebble flying into the lake with the swing of his arms.

‘I’ll take that as a no.’

Jeffrey stars off to the distance, trying to find the words, dimly aware of Sean’s unwavering gaze.

‘I can’t … forget her, you know. I wake up, and I see her face. I take a walk outside, every girl reminds me of her. Remember the bike your dad bought me for my seventh birthday? My first birthday gift ever, it’s kind of like that, except stronger. It is stuck in my head there is nothing I can do about it.’

Sean opens his mouth as if to say something, and then close it again. His fist clenched in frustration. Sean walked off, clearly concluding Jeffrey was a lost cause. It couldn’t be helped. If he were to ever get over this, this wasn’t the time. He’d have to find something meaningful that washed away the pain. He half-closed his eyes as he recalled his past – something he did a lot whenever he struggled with his mental self.

His mother solely raised Jeffrey, since his father walked out. Strangely, no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t recall his father’s face. Much of Jeffrey’s childhood was spent daydreaming about him. Jeffrey secretly blamed him for the problems he had talking to other children’s fathers. This was mostly because he believed that all fathers were as selfish as his. Capable of leaving their child behind anytime they wished.

His secret ‘hatred’ continued until the age of seven when Sean and his family moves into the neighbourhood, the two met during school and Sean became his best friends. His friendship with Sean brought him so close to his family to the point that Jeffrey was considered by Sean family to be their ‘extended family’. The interactions he had with his family, particularly his father, who bought him his first bike for his birthday and taught him how to ride it, had neutralised most of his grudges against fathers in general.

Despite being highly intelligent, Jeffrey consistently fails subjects that do not involve practical work, claiming that the only way to learn something is to actually do it. His teachers often had him stay behind after class to go over theories again, much to the frustration of his teachers, his attitude did not change at all throughout his school life, not matter how hard they try to change it.

He sighs as he opened his eyes, he wish life could be easier, with less drama to deal with. Maybe he didn’t belong here, he turns back and look to where Sean was, and there was no sign of his friend.

Even Sean doesn’t care.

Suddenly the disappearing in the deep cool lake didn’t too bad an idea. He crackle like a maniac, no one would be able to stop him even if they wanted. Not this time.

He pushed himself off the bench, grinding his teeth as he did. Jeffrey was no longer in control of himself and psychosis slowly embraced his mind. He approached the lake, the muddy ground squelching disgustingly as he blankly trekked towards the water’s edge. The lake had a mesmerising quality that drew him near. It was luring him towards the centre of the purple tinged water.

Jeffrey shivered as he waded in. It was colder than he expected. His muscles contracted involuntarily, shivers violently shook him to the core as the water soaked his clothes.

It must be getting late. Too late for me, he thought as he squints at the yellowish skyline.

As he reached the centre, Jeffrey looked over at the bench for the last time and dove under the water, letting the current from the connecting rivers direct him. To his surprise, the water in the lake wasn’t as still as he had always believed. The turmoil within threatened to tear him apart and send him in all possible directions. Contrary to popular opinion, life did not flash before his eyes. All he felt was a horrible empty sensation of helplessness. Jeffrey could not bring himself out of the water, even if he wanted to.

Ah, if only I had realised this earlier. Maybe I would have done it differently…

As he slowly sink towards the bottom, he reach out to the last ray of light piercing through the water, there was only a small pang of regret as his mind processed his last thoughts.

Sorry, Sean. I’ve let you down… I’ve let you down…

Felix Yeung (or more commonly known as Anton Donovan) is a third year student studying Bachelor of Creative Industries, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing at Queensland University of Technology (QUT). He believes that alcohol helps a writer broaden his/her mind so they can produce better writings, which probably explains why he is seen consuming Fruit Tingle at the university guild bar all the time.

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A Review on Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph

Regardless of your age, gender and race, Disney’s recent film Wreck-It Ralph produced by John Lasseter is sure to have something that appeals to you: an animated film set in the world of arcade games, where Pac-Man, Mario and Sonic the Hedgehog still lives within their arcade console. This Disney film contains much action, comedy and elegance of art, which the cinema have been lacking as of late. In addition, the film is graphically superior than the usual Disney films, owing to the director, who is experienced in producing animated films for Pixar.

The film’s protagonist, Ralph lives in a 80s video game console as the resident ‘bad’ guy whose job is to wreck a building (thus his name Wreck-It Ralph), Ralph’s counterpart, Fix-It Felix plays as the ‘good’ guy whose job is to reverse any damage Ralph causes. After decades of wrecking, Ralph has finally gotten tired of his job and no longer wants to be the bad guy. At the time of the game’s 30th anniversary, he attends a gathering of all the underappreciated ‘bad guys’ and decides that he wants to earn acceptance, recognition and to be treated with respect, just like how Felix is when he restores the building.

His quest to earn recognition was not easy, Ralph had to go out of his way to earn the famed medal of heroes from a shooter game filled with Cybugs (giant mechanical bugs that devour everything in their way). Unfortunately, his plan went wrong when he accidentally released a bug into a racing game, where the bug proceeds to lay millions of eggs, thus preparing for the future destruction of the console by infesting the game. He stumbles into a seemingly abandoned section of the game during his escapade from the virus bug, it is here where another protagonist was introduced, Vanellope von Schweetz, a little girl whose dream is to become the best racer.

Vanellope is a glitched (a technical term for something that has faulty coding) character who is exiled by other patrons in her game, she occasionally exhibit strange behavior, owing to the fact that she has no friends prior to meeting Ralph and the glitch, which cause her avatar to flicker and randomly move to other locations. Some real world reference can be make about her as the outcast of society- unwanted due to differences from others. Following her return to normal after resetting her coding (allowing the transformation to her ‘real’ self), she forgave all those who had rejected her under King Candy’s rule. This action represents the goodness in human hearts, that despite the hardship you face, there is almost always room for forgiveness.

Wreck-It Ralph is unique in a way that it does not introduce a prince and princess the way they normally would, Ralph and Vanellope did not initially get along with each other, in fact, he saw Vanellope as a pest whose purpose was to cause him trouble. however as the story progresses further, they develop a guardian/friend type of relationship as they attempt to help each other out and understand each other’s needs. This film has some education value, reminding the audience of the bond that friends and family have with each other, and of the things that people would do for their loved ones.

The film contains elements from various media and games across generations, at one point, Ralph makes a comment about how video games have changed over the years, and his apparent dislike of the chance when he went to a bug shooting console game. One could describe this film as geeky, as it references many things such as game coding, arcades and game characters. Culture references are also noticeable in Wreck-It Ralph, as seen in the film when Ralph meets various characters with real world racial differences like from an arcade console named ‘Sugar Rush’. Although the film heavily features game references, the audience do not have to know where they are from and could still enjoy the film normally.

On the whole, this film has a very strong backstory, with several interesting plot twists, such as King Candy, the ‘ruler’ of the racing arcade game, who turns out to be the evil and was the mastermind behind destroying Vanellope’s coding (rendering her a glitch). Some minor inaccuracy had been noted, however, the major transport used by characters in the film was the cable connecting the game consoles to the power sockets. Anyone with some knowledge on technology could tell you that data cannot be transferred between machines through the power cord, but it should be noted that Wreck-It Ralph is a cartoon primarily aimed towards children, so there would be some degree of suspended disbelief.

The narration of the film was interesting; Ralph verbally narrated the intro and outro of the film, giving the audience more information about his life, flashback and recreation of scene was used to strengthen the narration, the voice actors chosen for the film brilliantly enhanced the characters by giving them more human-like personality. The film’s structure is also very well balanced, each character having reasonable screen time to show the audience their individual character developments.

I don’t normally like cartoon films, but I really have to hand it to the production team and the creative brains behind it. Wreck-It Ralph is original and entertaining, and did a great job in providing quality entertainment to most, if not all audience. It is definitely a film I would watch again, and would recommend to children and adults alike.

Felix Yeung (or more commonly known as Anton Donovan) is a third year student studying Bachelor of Creative Industries, majoring in Creative and Professional Writing at Queensland University of Technology (QUT). His favorite past times includes consuming copious amount of Fruit Tingle at the university guild bar and chasing after cats on campus.


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